Buildings of the Turnipverse, part 2.

The tiny reliquary chapel of Grotz Von Rutabagen; a run down chantry which holds the mortal remains of a man held as a saint by no fewer than fourteen separate Root Cults. Inside, a gaggle of priests, monks, sadhus, hierodeacons, imams and shamans squabble and argue over ownership of the mouldering bones and the truth and primacy of each of their faiths. An uneasy compromise has been reached by the various competing cults that each acts as castellan and owner of the bones for an equal length of time each week. This avoids most of the deaths that had once blighted the chapel, but in the tense atmosphere violence is just a stray waft if incense or an ill-spoken word away.

On Tuesday mornings, for example, the Purerootans are in ownership of the holy remains, though by the time they have built the pyre to destroy such apostatic idols, the al-Rah'Deeshi Grand Mullah has ownership, and reinters the relics in a box of finest human bone. By dinnertime, the Overshaman of Clunj has worn the skull as a headdress, the Underbishop of Wurzel has paraded them around the chapel grounds, the nonconformist Shakers, Mumblers, and Stumblers have been moved by their presence, the United Rootist Temple and the United Temple of the Root have schismed again, and the twelve Elders of Krot have got most of the way through a divine hymn in praise of the most rooty femurs. A truce is held overnight while the Dark Cardinalate meditate on the remains to bring forth She-Who-Sleeps-In-The-Bog, and in the morning, the whole charade begins again, assuming the latter fails to rise and sweep all of Cist aside in one sludgey instant.